Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i believe in u and ur pee
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
