So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
