imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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