Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
