i drank out of a bidet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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