I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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