By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
