Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
