I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We are all done wearing pants today
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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