thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
