Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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