I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
