you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize