weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nutella sex= disaster
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize