I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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