Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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