How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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