Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
