one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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