Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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