Just fell off a train. Bad.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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