roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
