she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
