Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
