Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
