Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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