Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
