Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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