so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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