Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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