They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
