this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
