Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
