I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
