Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
zippers are such a cool invention
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
