you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
last night I used snow as a chaser
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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