I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
