I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
