I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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