Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
