Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize