4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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