I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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