oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
