If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
