I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
and you fell through a lawn chair
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
