what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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