In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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