Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize