I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
