doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize