shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
