Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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