Can Purell be used as lube?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
