just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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