I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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