these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize